Peterpan Parody
by Hasegawa
Summary: Watch as how Yao's reach the Hetare-land, the land where everybody is useless *kicked* and never grows up! Warning: Not yet. Yaoi, maybe? Pairing: I still dont know.
1. prologue

The title bares all.

Don't be offended (because, of course, people who say or write this for you to hear/read is actually going to offend you sometime soon—that's what my best friend told me in mocking tone).

* * *

"I want to grow taller, aru."

"Soon, my son, soon."

"But when is soon? I am already matured beyond my age—and I am still the shortest person in class, aru! I feel like a smurf* in your stories!"

Tino Väinämöinen smiled and patted his adopted son's head crown. The first baby they adopted has grown so much mentally, yet grew so little in height. It was not so important for him and Berwarld but he knew his son was so dead set against the fact that his height was comparable to the smallest girl in his class.

Yao; nicely tucked inside his blanket; listening closely to his mother's bedtime story about the Smurf and its families, the blue creatures who walked around and have adventures and changed every word in their vocabulary with 'Smurf!'. Yao couldn't help but stared at his 'mother'; trying to ignore how violet Tino's eyes were. He knew he was adopted, of course, because in no time soon that human could interbreed with same gender. And he saw how his brothers suddenly appeared on the bedroom, one by one, babies that wailed and adorable (10% of the time) and annoying (90% of the time). But Yao still feels that Violet eyes of Tino's and greenish-blue eyes of Berwarld's are the most beautiful eyes in the world. His own golden eyes were shining like a cat under spotlight, and Yao somehow felt uncomfortable when his classmates stared at him more than 10 minutes just to admire his eyes.

Unbeknown to them, a (quite big, wide) figure was watching them closely from the narrow opened-window in fascination.

Tino smiled. "… Soon. You'll know when the time comes, my dear. Please go to sleep now."

Yao nodded and let himself lulled to sleep by his mother's soft hands patting his head. His little brothers, Yong Soo and Xiang (Hong Kong) were already asleep on the beds beside his.

"Mother…"

"Yes, Yao?"

"… I don't want to be blue like Smurf, aru."

Tino smiled before went to the door and turned off the lamp, the only source of light in the room. He was supposed to be in the living room in 3 minutes, ready to go to a party with Berwald Oxenstierna, his husband of 14 years. They were going to the annual party hosted by Denmark to celebrate his luckiness to be married to the yandere beauty Norway. And have Sealand and Iceland born on the very same day in two years, 10 and 8 years ago, respectively.

And when he closed the door, due to the physic law of pressure that energy can be travelled by air, the narrowly opened windowed slammed shut.

The wide figure stalker screamed in _shock_. A part of him/her was caught between the window panes and separated from him.

Yao turned to the window and saw how dark the sky was, hosting the bright full moon. And when he saw a cockroach-like figure was flying towards the big moon, Yao believed not only he would never get taller, he had boogers in his eyes.

* * *

Prologue~ done.

XD Review~?


	2. A night when everything started

**Chapter 1 **

Yao woke up to the very annoying noises from the window. He rubbed his sleepy eyes and saw something that made him decided that he needed to get glasses the very next day. But after he rubbed his eyes again for the fifth time, pinching his own cheek to elicit pain (to make sure he wasn't sleepy enough to imagine that a cockroach that big exists on earth) and accidently bit his own tongue when he tried to shout; and yet the figure was still there, he ceased to think that he was hallucinating and maybe he has normal vision after all.

"Nana-Gitty!" Yao shrieked. "Nana-Gitty!"

A stealthy creature featuring cat with a ribbon on one of its ears and the body of an old man with man boobs came into the room, barking with deep voice,

"What happen, aru?"

And the suspicious figure stuck between the window panes stopped struggling; instead, it was shouting in amazement when he saw the cat-like head creature.

"Awesome! What is THAT? I never seen something like that, and I am a hero who had seen everything!"

"AHHHH!" Yao shrieked louder. "The cockroach can talk aru!"

"C..Cockroach?" Suddenly Yong Soo opened his eyes. "Where, where?"

"…Yao ge?" Xiang was also woken up by the sudden ten decibels shriek.

"I am not a cockroach. Eww." The figure was offended, struggling to move but he was stuck between the woods of window pane. "By the way, can you help me? Please open the window wider, I cannot move."

Yao and his brothers watched in bewilderment. "… But the window is already opened as wide as it can be aru."

"Oh damn." The figure swore, and suddenly a small sparkly firefly flew in from underneath the figure's bulging stomach. The little firefly landed on the cockroach and sneezed out some shining dust.

Suddenly the figure became slim and nice and handsome, just like the male model in teen vogue. And the slimmer cockroach slipped in easily into the room. Nana-Gitty barked, but stayed away from the figure.

Yao watched as the cockroach boy spoke.

"Hi. My name is Alfred F. Jones. I am the hero from Hetare-land, where everyone never grows up!"

"You thief, aru!" accused Yao. "What do you want to steal, aru? I wouldn't let you to kidnap me or my brothers, aru! We are too cute to be kidnapped!"

"I am neither a thief nor a kidnapper. I am the hero, how can I be the kidnapper!" Alfred pouted. "I am here to get back what you stole from me!"

"We didn't steal anything, aru! We don't even know you!"

"You have my thing!"

"No I don't, aru! I don't know what you are talking about!"

"Yes you do, of course you know what the hero is talking about!"

"No I don't, aru!"

"Yes you do!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

Nana-Gitty was watching the verbal tennis match in silent when suddenly the sparkling flying creature landed on his head, sneezed out more dust. And with that, Nana-Gitty turned slimmer (excess flesh on the breast and tummy magically disappeared!) and his cat-like face turned into Hello Kitty image. He looked way way better now, but apparently, the dust also has some side effects of inducing lethargy, because the next second Nana-Gitty fell comatose on the dirty red old carpet.

"AHHH! You killed Nana-Gitty, aru!"

"Thank God, daze~" Yong Soo laughed in happiness. "That creature is scary! Now that he is gone, we can have party, daze~ Do you know that party is originated from Korea…"

"What is Korea mean?" Alfred asked innocently. Yong Soo looked like he was struck by lightning and held his breath in aghast.

"You don't _know_ Korea?"

"As matter of fact, I actually don't understand too, aru." Yao butted in. "You always say it, but I never hear any word with Korea in it."

Yong Soo looked dumbstruck. He started crying. "B..But… B…But… Now that we have this, we have food for the party that originated in Korea, daze!"

By that, he pulled out a small ovalish white fluffy creature with two blue eyes and a pair of glasses, with an antenna-like curl on top of it; from under his pillow. Yao stared at his brother's hand, looking curiously. Xiang was as silent as usual, and hugged his panda teddy-bear tighter.

"Ah! See? You know it!" Alfred shouted, pointing at the white stuff. "You DO have my Mochi America!"

Yao watched closer, moved to Yong Soo's bed when the white fluffy thing called Mochi America suddenly bounced from Yong Soo's hand. Surprisingly, the fluffy white stuff could really bounce, because the distance between it's up and downs were ceilings and floor apart.

"AH! Catch him!" Alfred shrieked, and flew all over the place to catch that little, very active, fluffy bouncy thing. Yao and his brothers were amazed, watching because 1. it is a very amusing thing to see a mochi could bounce by itself and still perfectly have its glasses and 2. it is even more amusing to find that the flying cockroach who turned into Teen Vogue model look-alike crawled on the wall trying to catch the number 1.

"What is that small white thing, aru? Your tick?"

"No! It's a part of me!"

"What, a flying pimple, aru?" As usual, China was a sceptical child.

"No! My dinner!"

And the mochi suddenly bounced into Yao's arms, which was caught immediately by Yao's open hands. The mochi struggled, but when Yao saw how cute it was (and not really edible looking), Yao felt pity towards the poor little thing.

"Good! You caught it!"

"No! Don't eat him, aru!" China shouted and held the small puff tighter to his chest. "He is too cute and pitiful to be eaten, aru!"

"You don't know him that much to say he is cute, you know." Alfred crossed his arms over his chest. "He is the worst nightmare. He even finished our food reserve for the week! So I need to eat him to make it up for it!"

"No! That's animal cruelty, no!" Yao shouted and kissed the small whitish mochi. "It's OK, you are fine, you won't be eaten by that trespasser aru…"

Alfred pouted. "You want to eat it for yourself, don't you?"

"No I don't, aru!"

"But you almost put him in your mouth!"

Yao looked lost for a while, but then he realized that Alfred was pointing to the kissing movement. "It wasn't like that, aru! I was just giving the little poor thing a kiss to calm him down!"

"Piss?" Alfred asked in disbelieve. "You crap from your mouth?"

"A kiss, moron." Xiang suddenly spoke out, which was so out of character for him. Everybody stopped their quarrel and stared at the little boy. "A kiss is when your lips touch the other so that they can be calm and feel good! Just like what mothers do!"

"Mother?" Alfred asked in confusion.

"Don't you have one, daze?" Yong Soo asked.

"I have never eaten or seen a mother, whatever you call it." Alfred looked lost, so innocent that making Yao's heart melted. His motherly instinct was challenged.

"Oh… poor you, aru…"

"I am not poor! I am rich! I am the hero~!"

"Come here. I will give you a kiss, aru."

"No, you'll eat me!"

Yao sighed, and passed the little mochi (which was quieter and silent after Yao gently kissed it) to Yong Soo. He then woke up from the bed and reached Alfred. "Come. Don't be afraid, my little one."

"W..What?" Alfred blushed and paled at the same time just like a traffic light, move backwards while Yao moved towards him. Alfred was eventually cornered to the end of the room and Yao was ready to hug the boy.

"No!"

"Don't run or fly, aru!" Yao sternly order and amazingly, Alfred found that his body was paralysed. He passively received the hug from Yao. It was warmth (because he was only wearing an outfit crossover between Tarzan and a weight lifting champion so the night wind did harm to him) all over and suddenly when Yao's lips were on his cheek, Alfred couldn't help but blush. And felt so good.

".. What was that?"

Yao let go of the boy and smiled. "A hug, aru. and a kiss."

"So… are you a mather? Or mother, whatever you said just now?"

"… Well I am not really a woman, aru. but mothers did that. So maybe I am a mother aru."

"Definitely, daze~ Yao hyung _is _our mother!"

Yao smiled gently when suddenly the sparkling white teeny little tiny firefly flew into his nose hole.

* * *

TBC

Review please~~ (Review donk *gaya transgender Taman Lawang*) LOL. I know it hasn pick up yet, but a tiny little review will make my day.


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